Look Within

So You Think You No Me

2008-05-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

Do I Value You As Important As Life?
If Suicide Is Your Fantasy Is It Mine?
Will I Remember You In My Last Days?
Do I Push All Good Energy Towards You When Your Down?
You No I Feel Sad And Wish I Didn't Exist At Times?
These Are "Q" That Are Better At Times Left Unanswered.
Yes
No
Yes
Yes
Yes

I'm sorry

2008-05-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that I care so much for you,Some times it pisses me off.
I'm sorry my friendship don't mean as much to you as it does me.
I'm sorry I piss you off,by calling all the time.
I'm sorry I don't live close by,to offer you a hand.
I'm sorry we fight,over stupid misunderstandings.
I'm sorry I love you as much as a friend can.
I'm sorry life sucks.

Depression

2008-05-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm dying inside out,No partner no close friend.It's eating me up inside spilling out.
Hate for pain caused and made.Having feelings for one that can never be.It's eating me up I feel like going nuts,just to feel any thing at all.Emotions running high.I'm so sad deep inside.I look old but don't feel it.I feel like I'm dying inside.

Just Let It Go...

2008-04-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

Just As Was Is Now No More.But What Once Was Or Could Have Been Is Lost In The Stream Of Life.Gone On An Endless No More.What You Thought You May Have Has Been Pulled Away Moved From Site.Ending The String Of Forced Repair.Shelter Everyones Hearts My Own Bleeds,To Shut And Try No More.It Rest On Feelings That Are There That Can No Longer Be Shed.

Why?

2007-12-30T16:20:00.000-08:00

Why now ?, I don't understand. Have I gone to blank in my day.washing dishes cleaning up after all. I wish I were young. I Was so pretty It's all gone now. Loser men steal my beauty. Take my pride walk with it. Fuckers

I Could Do With It

2007-04-22T20:25:00.000-07:00

I really need this...So bad I can hardly breath.
Time spent In this cell Is really pure misery.
Everyone moves forward... Unless you're stuck here to.
Soon I'm going to leave, We wish for all to visit.
And will forever miss you.
We really need This....To move.

Many Things.

2006-07-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

Many Things.
Many faces,many places.
many stars,many bars.
many years,many tears.
many trees,many fees.
many friends come to an end.
many dreams will never be seen.

07-15-06

I should just F***

2006-07-17T21:13:00.000-07:00

There you are.
I see you,looking strait at me.
Im not feeling very romantically.
powerful now,even back then.
I could never reach it, just pretend.
If I did I didnt understand how.
I should just F*** off now.
There they are looking at me,
exspecting loads,dont no if I have it in me.
I feel just drained, pretty much robbed.
I should just F*** off now,It will be better some how.

06-29-06

So Much To Say

2006-06-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

Theres so much to tell,so little time.
I no every day can never be mine.
pieces of you, mixed with pieces of me,
has grown up so beautifully.
I wish I new then what I do no now.
Theres so much to say, so much to tell.
Its killing me slowly, Crazy I no.
laugh at me now, say the jokes on you too.
I no I deserve this crummy feeling of blue.

9-25-06

Time

2006-06-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

Time hasn't done me no favors.
hasn't sweetened the deal.
there's no running back over that hill.
I am ashamed as maybe I should,
because of my site I choose not to look.
listen to me now, listen real good.
there's no turning back that's all understood.
I cant undo what has already begun,
I love you so much.
06-27-06

I Could

2006-06-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

I could compose a million emails.
I could dive high from the cliffs.
I could sit and twittle my thumbs.
I could eat all after noon.
I could doodle my time till sun rise.
I could blow bubbles towards the sun.
I could lean on your chest.
I could pretend the rest.

06-26-06

Here I Sit

2006-06-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

Here I Sit
here I sit as the world keeps going by.
silently wishing
here I sit as the sky reaches for the sea.
silently thinking
here I sit as there should be something more.
silently hoping
here I sit as if there was true love.
silently crying
here I sit

06-26-06

Here I Am

2006-06-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Here I am cant you see, I'm over here under this grand ole tree.
deep in this stump I've fallin so far I just wished so much to see... You and me sitting under the tree. I've been here so long sitting in side wishing for something I can never again have. Thinking of you, thinking of me, up and down all around over under inside and out.
that's all I've done that's all I've to shout. Here I am, cant you see.
6/22/06

Inside Out

2006-06-27T21:43:00.000-07:00

In my head this is what's being said.....
up down all around, I'm looking at you running to you.
inside out and all about over under inbetween wishing it could all be seen.
when its there ill no from the stare. thats all being said deep in my head.
twirling dancing even romancing jumping up and down.
acting as if a clown.
it is said its still alive twiching iching keeping me up.
giggling wiggling happy merry thought.
touching screaming in the loving thought.
maybe someday in my own way instead of hearing in my thoughts.
ill show you all that i hold true, letting you see like from the start.
so till that day comes with liquid and plumes.
I will be up down all around inbetween maybe unseen inside out laughing about.
but then again... In my head this is what's being said.

06-22-06

Wrapped

2006-06-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

I'm just here today to let you no in my own lil way,why I dream of things past and gone,touch and speech all wrapped in one, hoping sometimes praying for the day when you will see,what you always meant to me.jumping out of the light you see brought me to face on my knee the one I needed and wanted then craved was lost in the past that I could not then see,dreaming of you wrapped around me.together for the sake of this baby tree.I kept in site the life we both made. Praying to god to please forgive me.I did it all wrong I no this well now,but if I could just make one wish.......